I craved for dreams and dared to wonder
but it had been my boldest blunder.
A pack of people polluted the child,
and in the outskirts and within the wild
was sent I to, resent and be exiled.
Alone in forest and upon reflection
My hate took birth and void of affection,
like toxic poison it spread inside.
Venomously wild the boiling infection,
scorched my soul which screamed with rejection
and it made me feel dead inside.
Fierce and flaming was my fuming breath
as the forests were forced a furious death.
The heavy leaden grudges grew like fire.
and like blood thirsty and vicious vampire,
devoured my spirit and left me tired
Roaring with rage, I spewed disgust and
repugnant were the forests and
loathsome was I.
Frighteningly cold silence was around
and with terrible despair I found
All was dead. And all was decaying.
And in my darkest moment, fetal and weeping
The moon tells me a secret -my confidant.
As full and bright as I am
This light is not my own and
A million light reflections
Pass over me.
I hated and I screamed and
I hurt and I burned and
I raged and I broke and
then I surrendered.
Neither from rhyme nor from reason
not from the brain nor from the heart.
The love came from the soul and stars.
The air was ripe and generously fertile
for the trees were alive. Alive and breathing.
The Soul swayed in rhythm to music warm and mild.
And echoing the soft sound, the trees swayed with'em.
Mind at peace and full of joy.
Soul soared with love and compassion.
Blissful energies with ecstatic origin
conceived pleasantness. Within and without.
Holy was love. The soul was whole.
Shine on forever. Shine on benevolent sun.
All were one and one was all.
Shine until the two become one.
And hold on,
If love is the answer you hold,
hold on.
If love is the answer you hold,
hold on.
If love is the answer you hold.
Two things I like in the poem are the imagery you've used throughout it and the fact that you've got enough ideas to fill such a long poem. For example, the stanza in which you talk about the air as a living, breathing entity on account of the trees works brilliantly for me.
ReplyDeleteMoving to the poem's structure as a whole, I feel that the line breaks as well as the punctuation breaks could be engineered better. You seem to have used a fair number of conjunctions when breaking a line, as in the case of the stanza wherein you scream and hate. This seems unnecessary to me, considering you could achieve more impact if you decided to just break the line and move on to the next line without the ands. Also, comma placement seems a little awkward in the first stanza where the comma is after the to. I feel that's not required there.
Overall, again, I like the images it introduces my mind to.