High, high, sky high Dad stood:
On my Pillow Plane together we stood.
As the cool wind blew wild onto us,
On my Pillow Plane together we stood.
With Blue Moon above and Grey one below,
Amidst the live stars, together we stood.
Along the long lit stream, on my soft plane
with his dear song, all alone we stood.
This Pillow Plane in my head, over the years,
like a frozen clock by the bed, it stood.
On my Pillow Plane together we stood.
As the cool wind blew wild onto us,
On my Pillow Plane together we stood.
With Blue Moon above and Grey one below,
Amidst the live stars, together we stood.
Along the long lit stream, on my soft plane
with his dear song, all alone we stood.
This Pillow Plane in my head, over the years,
like a frozen clock by the bed, it stood.
You need to add a Kafiya! Also, your Signature is missing in the last couplet.
ReplyDelete'Stood' is an interesting choice for a Radif and it works. Also it's interesting that your ghazal is a continuation on the same theme.