She came in my life like summer
I fell for her like rain
Time flew and autumn crept in
the leaves fell insane
I realized that the brown left
only for more n' more green
and the clouds came into the sky
for the rainbows to be seen.
They say every story has a Spring
but ours, my love, is evergreen.
Fun poem. Loved the rhymes, particularly the way the last two lines brought it all together. Have tried to make the rhymes sharper, more playful. Avoid clunkiness at all costs when rhyming. Have tried doing that. Feel free to accept or leave the suggestions. Also, not so many commas! Thanks Yash!
ReplyDeleteEvergreen
She came in my life like summer
I fell for her like rain
Time flew and autumn crept in
the leaves fell insane
I realized that the brown left
only for more n' more green
and the clouds came into the sky
for the rainbows to be seen.
They say every story has a Spring
but ours, love, is evergreen.
Or alternatively:
ReplyDelete"They say every story has a Spring
but ours, my love, is evergreen."
Or even
"They say every story has a Spring
but ours is evergreen."