Sometimes I miss who I thought you were

​There are times when I've sat on your bed and looked at the mess you left around. And in those moments, I wished that you were back just once last time, even if it was to hate me for telling you to clean it up. You liked cleanliness but you lived so messy. I never bothered to plunge myself into the depths of your mind because I was sure I would lose myself in the sheer volume of emotions and information that you kept to yourself. I’d drown without wanting to come back up for air. There are currents and waves that would've swept me away. My turbulent mind is held back by the fragile dam that is my mouth. Sooner or later we all break. I've kept going because I want to be stronger than you. Just you. And you broke almost a year ago. You weren't true. If you were, I’d never have let you go. But you gave me a taste for what lies for me if I fall and if the ground can feel so warm and comfortable, then I am ready to stand up and climb once more. You probably never even think about me and that’s okay. I’m sure you don’t remember wearing my jacket when I forced you take care of yourself. But I remember giving it away and holding your freezing hands. I remember holding you when you cried about an apparition that you never saw. And remember loving you and I will always remember not being able to forget you. If I gave you all that I could, I can give myself even more. If I was ever true to you while you lived a blasphemy, then I shall hold myself, a prophet of love and in all my fierceness, I shall forgive us. 

(In response to Aditi Rao's what i want now)