I began my quest for love,
Prepared with every shield.
Prepared with every shield.
Ready to take on a few bruises and scars,
While in search for something real.
I searched the willow of the mountains,
Leaving no stone unturned.
I swam across the ocean and its fountains,
Left with my hope truly burnt.
Almost tired of my years of stomping rut,
I heard her shrill voice in a distant hut.
I felt a spark of boyish glee,
As I sped towards the enchanting
bree.
In my mind I sketched her neat,
With a pure heart, willing
to meet.
To my surprise inside the little
hut I found,
The dreamy girl was no one but me.
(bree- slang for the ideal girl)
The dreamy girl was no one but me.
(bree- slang for the ideal girl)
I love how playful the poem is at the end, and how you've achieved bringing out said emotion in the reader by using the image of the dreamy girl inside a little hut. The phrases 'boyish glee' and 'shrill voice' act in cohesion to make me come to the conclusion that this poem made me feel happier than any other I have read on this blog thus far. Considering that its title is 'I found love', I think you've attained what you were shooting for.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is deeply imagistic and capitalizes on the fairytale/disney princess universe. It is also philosophical and a twist on the average story about falling in love with someone else, which I like! If possible, play with the length of the first line. It stands out from the other lines.
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