When I Said No

Sometimes I run my fingers over my wrists

to trace where I would have placed the blade

and swiftly would have swiped it to reveal

a crimson streak - pure and free;

and with that I would release all the pain,

I would let it run in a stream,

the pain contained in the scars,

the wounds on my heart,

and gradually I would be overcome by peace, but sadly, its only a dream.

Sometimes I run my fingers over my arms

tracing the bruises and the marks,

I press harder and the pain gushes through me,

I press harder and it's you I feel.

Dragging me, lifeless –

through those endless hallways.

Fury resonating through your body,

glowing in your eyes -

you stomp fiercely,

and my heart is crushed.

Sometimes I run my fingers over the window sill

to trace the shattered pieces of glass

there, where I used to stand

and I spoke to silent walls

my voice slipped through the cracks

but that was where I belonged.

And the damp corner served as proof

You pushed me over that ledge

But I drowned under your reign

I let go

All you had to do was let me say no.